These past few days I was struggling on what to write, how to write, and should I really write about it at all. I miss how I write the words in a brighter way. How I often type them while seeing the happiness side of life. I miss to entangle my random thoughts and insights and find hopeful me. Not the abandonment.
Writing is already part of my life pero bakit ganun? Pansin ko ang notebook ko eh walang pagbabago. Maging ang journal ko umunti na rin ang sulat. Pati ata mga notes ko sa school nababawas-bawasan na rin umaasa na lang sa mga pictures na inuupload ng mga classmates ko sa group. Malala pa, nilalangaw na rin ang blog ko dito maging sa tumblr for a few months. Pansin ko din na di na nababawasan ang mga sticky notes ko.
Ang dami kong napapansin. Pansin ko lang ang ganda ko pa din hahaha. College days. The most dreading season of studying. I became too busy to actually find time to talk with my friends. But now I realize it isn’t just about the talk. It is the presence of myself to be with them, to bond with them and to inspire them.
May mga bagay na akong nalilimutang gawin pero sa kabila ng lahat,
I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
Minsan kailangan mo lang talaga i-remind ang sarili mo sa mga promises ni Lord.
It is true somehow that you’d never appreciate college days. Because at this point, I’m not having a good sleep. Doing studying chapters of lessons/modules and reading notes. It’s just the beginning. 1st yr. palang ika-nga ng iba. But for now, this is the road that I’ve been entering for 6 months and I’m really determined to be the best as I can, hindi lang maging ordinary student pero maging extraordinary student with distinction.
It is not just actually about writing. Part of me has this season of maturing, particularly of being a woman which is somehow connected about how I put my random thoughts and insights on paper. But also, I would like to write my weekly daily here. I just realize now that my whole identity revolves on dreaming, unending thinking, and writing . It is funny, somehow. Instead of studying today, I’m wasting my time thinking and thinking and thinking on what to do. harhar!
Monday is our midterm. God Bless!