My Faith Journey (3rd Trimester-Final Examination)

Did I truly trust God, the God I had claimed to know and love all my life? And if so, would I follow Him even into the darkest, most painful valley?

By His grace, I have followed.  By my faith, miracles happen! And truly God has given me eyes that see Him in the most unexpected ways. The only thing that will keep u going is your FAITH~

FAITH SEEING AS GOD SEES.. – Ptra. Mitch Gustilo, Fueled by Faith Series

Faith does not operate in the realm of the possible. There is no glory for God in that which is humanly possible. Faith begins where man’s power ends. I have experienced the power of such faith in my life.

One of the struggles I was facing when I started to enter college was finances; It so heavy for our parents to provide our tuition fees. Especially two of us are studying in a expensive computer college school.

My brother is a graduating student (I mean, 1 tri to go!) So I have to make a savings for my own payment. Especially, when you see your parents are working hard just to give you an education for your future. I’m really willing to help them when I started to realize how expensive our tuition fee is.

I think it’ll be a big help for them if I make a savings for my finals and also if I would be thrifty whenever they give me an allowance. And because of that routine every examination (ipon dito, ipon don, tipid dito tipid don), it grew me a lot. But, still my parents are the one who provides my monthly payment in school. I just help them with my very best and with my very willing soul by giving some of my savings in order to add in my examination fee. Sometimes, I was thinking to be a self-supporting student. Look for a part time jobs, in order to pay off my tuition fees and living expenses.

Final exam is heading off.. My balance in school is still bigger. In my mind, I want to provide my final exam on my own because I don’t wan’t my parents to be so stressed. Me and my brother, we’re both studying at expensive school, so I have to take an action for my exam. So past few days, I suffered physically. My health condition worsened; every time I’m going to sleep, it feels like my intestine, my liver, my respiratory system are jumping around my bed. Sounds weird right? because of stress and lack of sleep. I still remember several times when I cried out to God to let me sleep for 3 days because the pain was so unbearable. Every time I was thinking for my final exam, I always asks myself, “Bakit ganto? Masipag naman ako mag-aral. Yung ibang hindi naman ganoonan kasipagan, pero fully paid agad. Eh ako?” Am I starting to doubt? But when all those questions starting to pop in my mind, I started to read Owner’s Manual. And pray! Asking God to take away all those doubts, all those fears and worries. And praying that may the spirit of fear leave me that moment.

Weeks had passed.. Finals is coming..

Habang palapit na ng palapit yung araw, ang hirap na iwasan yung pressure. Pero instead of spearheaded of worries, I JUST PUT MY TRUST ON THE LORD. This is what I always says, every time I have trouble in AMA or everytime I have concerns in AMA > “Eh, si Lord is by my side!  Nilagay ako ni Lord sa school na to! I’m 101% sure na hinding hindi Niya ko papabayan. Hindi pababayaan in terms of people around me, in terms of environment there, in terms of grades, and most of all in terms of financial (as we all know, tuition fee in AMA is so expensive KAYA: PARA SA MGA NAGAARAL SA AMA, MAG-ARAL KAYO NG MABUTI. DAHIL ANG MAHAL MAHAL NG TUITION FEE SA AMA! HINDI NAGTATAE ANG MGA MAGULANG NATIN. BLESSED TAYO DAHIL PINAGARAL TAYO NG MGA MAGULANG NATIN SA MAHAL NA UNIBERSIDAD). GOD IS WITH ME. Selah.

When I got home, I told mom and dad that the deadline for the finals was the wednesday because I don’t want to be hassle to fix my clearance and my RSA, and I found out that we didn’t have any money to pay for it yet. Normally, I’d feel frustrated, irritated, pressure, cranky and nervous all at the same time, but I was surprised I wasn’t. It was amazing. I just felt so much peace, so much hope, and so much assurance that God was gonna provide for me. That I was gonna be able to take exam.

*****

It’s not a faith unless you made a bold declaration. – Ptra. Mitch Gustilo, Fueled by Faith Series

God has already been providing in miraculous ways for me to complete my studies. Despite many trails, God has provided for all my needs and tuition fees over the 9 months. And now I am moving forward on the next level. Two steps to go. I can now see the finish line, and I am fervently praying to graduate on time with LAUDE~

Neither my desperate needs nor higher grades made any difference. However, my faith did not waver. I reasoned to myself that God was testing me so that my faith could be strengthened in the midst of trials. Just like Job says, “ ‘But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold’ ” (Job 23:10).*

Job! What kind of worse experience was he going through that led him to make such an affirmation? Job was a God-fearing follower; he obeyed God and trusted Him.

Despite all these terrible and heartbreaking trials, Job still believed in the Lord, for God was the object of Job’s faith. Our belief affects our attitude and our reaction. What do I mean? Look at the attitude and reaction Job had while facing all these problems. Job’s faith, trust, and belief were all rooted firmly in God. Job would have been so hopeless if his faith was based on everything he possessed. That was not the case.

His faith was in God, and God never disappears. So, when everything was lost, Job had one assurance that can never be lost and he exclaimed, “My Redeemer lives.” In that Living God, Job trusted, so he survived every crisis. He did not lose hope because he based his faith in the Lord God was the object of his faith.

*****

God provides it all the way

Going back to my own story, despite of my trials and struggles, I kept praying to God and believing in Him. I was praying for God to open a way for me to take final exam if it was really His will. I also prayed that He would help me pay off all my expenses, tuition fees, and provide me a place to stay.

Finally, a while ago, GOD PROVIDES! Imagine, my final examination starts today (April 16, 2015) and this is the day I also got my permit. GOD REALLY STRETCHES MY FAITH IN FINANCES *My Nga-nga Moment!* Slap me? Am I dreaming? I keep telling my 2 classmates “NA TALAGA BANG MAGEEXAM NA KO? TOTOO NA BA TO? KAKAPRAY KO LANG NG KAKAPRAY, NGAYONG MAKAKAEXAM NA KO? DAHIL SA MGA BIBIG NA KAKAPRAY NA KAKAPRAY AT NADINIG NI LORD?”

In the end, I was able to take my exam.

Here it is :

11115921_1052848121395193_1885962607_n

Tendeden! I’m excited for my exam (for the very first time) hahaha, because I know I went through ups and downs before getting this permit. Actually, every exam, I am very early to buy a green booklet (one week before the exam) even though I’m still not paid yet. Because, I always tell to my mom that- “Ma, ito yung faith ko. BY FAITH. Alam ko kasing makakaexam ako kaya nabili agad ako ng green booklet. Si laging by faith ako ♥” hehehe.

God is so amazing and great. *AKO ANG SAKSI*

It was all God’s doing. I always reminded myself that “we live not by sight, but by faith.” Though I did not have enough money to study. I believed God and His promises in the Bible. “ALAM KONG SASAGIPIN AT SASAGIPIN AT SASAGIPIN NIYA PA KONG MULI, JUST LIKE WHAT I’VE SAID, GOD PLACE ME IN THAT CAMPUS (AMA) IMPOSIBLENG PABAYAAN NIYA KO”. My faith was in God. I believed His Word, “ ‘You have made the heavens and the earth by your great power . . . nothing is too hard for you’ ” (Jer. 32:17). I know that everything on earth belongs to the Lord, and if it’s His will and keep on desiring, then He will hear my prayer just like 1 John 5:14 says, “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us” (NASB).

We receive Jesus and His blessings only by faith. – Ptra. Mitch Gustilo, Fueled by Faith Series

Whatever situation you are in, the word of the Lord is to put your faith in Him. Listen and focus to His words no matter how loud and seemingly true the other voice is.

tumblr_nfft4ilBk41s8fg03o1_500

“Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of faith is to see what we believe.” – St. Augustine

The important lessons I learned from my walk with God, my faith journey include: to trust and have faith in Him, believe in His Word, and claim His promises because our God loves us so much that He will always carry us through. T

here might be times when we pray and pray and nothing happens. We just have to wait patiently. God stretches our faith. We might have lost faith in God because of various situations. However, we must never lose heart, never give up hope. Always trust in God.

Advertisements

One step, forward. (Considering I don’t fail. But I won’t stop. I will dream high.)

Heading off to college is both an exciting and challenging experience. First, exciting because you will have new school to go, new classmates to meet and new environment. Second, challenging because in College you will make many decisions that can bring you down or bring you up to success. There’s a lot of trial and error to experience. and definitely, a lot of temptation also. But of course, I know my identity in Christ. Why should I be afraid of? It’s heartbreaking to say farewell to high school life but I know as I close this chapter of my life, I will open another one. When I graduated high school level, the first question poped in my mind was “What’s school will I enroll to? & What course is really for me? in other word, What is God’s plan for me?”

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

The pressure is setting in..

The University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT) is one of the most awaited exams a high school student would take. It brings about a certain anticipation coupled with anxiety. It is, after all, the first and usually the biggest entrance test graduating students take. All the other entrance exams to other universities come after it. When you say intelligent people, first university will come to your mind, is UP. Many students are dreaming for it. It’s because everyone knows that in our future when we’re applying for jobs, school will be one of the most basis for acceptance. And UP is the best school, as others say. All my life, I’ve dreamed of studying at the University of the Philippines. I’ve yearned to become a scholar ng bayan for about a years now. I was so positive that I’ll get to study there one day; hence, my parents didn’t allow me to take entrance exam at UP for several reason, then I have no choice but to obey them, accept the fact that I’m not for UP & just look for other university out there. I tried to convinced them but eventually, it turned out to be a hopeless case, I didn’t even hear ‘Yes, You can take UPCAT’

So I look for other University. I planned to be an Engineer. Field of Electronics and Communication. I don’t know why I really like this course, I’m really determined to be an engineer in the future. I’m really confused with this. Since I was kinder, Since I steped in school, I dreamed to be TV Host/Radio Host/News Caster/News Reporter/VJ/ anything that are related to Mass Communication Major in Broadcasting. That’s my passion &- at the same time, I know that I’m good in talking and talking and talking, that’s why. hehehe, If you know me then you don’t need to ask me anymore why. Fourth year high school, everything has changed. I don’t know why. God really put me on the course were I’m not really good at; I’m not passionate, I have no interest, in other word, I don’t like’em. Related in Math. Like wuuuut? Why engineer? So, I have no choice, I need to become a Math lover. Math wizard? lol, Fourth year, I tried to listen to our teacher, I do also my assignments, I do recite, I do my seatworks. I’m trying to understand those <errrrrr>. I can’t explain. I don’t like trigonometry, ever! I was just thinking that time; ” Pag ba nag-trabaho na ako susukatin ko pa ba yung angle angle ng bawat gagawin ko ” Math really driving me crazy. I totally hate math when I started to saw letters? x+y. I dunno know, I love math when I was elementary, I really like to join math quiz bee’s, anything related to math but 1st year to 4th year High school, I have no interest to listen to our math teacher anymore. I am too shy to say this but honestly, I don’t understand anything about Algebra, Geometry and Trigonometry that were discussed by our teachers. hehehe, Then, Ok Laugh. I know in myself that I tried hard.

I prefer BS Electronics Communication Engineering at Technological University of the Philippines-Taguig. that was January 15, 2014 (first batch) when I take an entrance exam So here it is, I was being positive to pass the exam. I claimed, I declared, and I prayed harder. If this Is really God’s will for me then I will be part of this institution but unfortunately, I didn’t pass 😦 I failed. When, TUP already sent a letter in our house, I’m still sleeping that time and I heard my parents was talking about that I didn’t pass the exam, they wake me up and told me I didn’t make it. But I thought everything was a Joke. They’re just kiddin’ me, I know that. So, before I woke up, I pray first. I was declaring that I pass TUP-exam but suddenly, Sheim Jarra Blanco Palmes, You FAILED! (Take note: It’s capital F-A-I-L-E-D!) It hurts. that was the feeling when I read the TUP- letter. Ouch! Well, I didn’t have to be shocked. I didn’t answer all the parts of exam, I leave 30 items on Test G, and aside from that I didn’t ate my breakfast before I took the exam so my brain is hanging upside down while taking exam, Like what is this? ‘Sequence, napakabagal mag-isip. tsk’ . As if my expectations haven’t been deflated enough, I failed miserably in math for sure, as always. My math ability disappoints me. then, I know I’m just an average student since I was born to study; surely, the public school produces great, smart and intelligent student. who am I compared to those students, while me studied in private school ever since. Just like what other says, There are more intelligent students in public schools while me grew up in private school, I have nothing to blow. I really felt down. But I have to accept it. On that day, I easily get up, and look for other university again. As I said to myself, ‘I have to rise up and not to stick with this thing. I don’t have to be affected all over. Why should I? eh, I am being so loved by my great Daddy God, I was able to find strength to at least stop disappointing myself after those bad result. I don’t have to be sad all day, all night, because I know I am destined for bigger dreams and bigger goals in life, all I have to do is to embrace it and let it happen! My future is secured in His hands. I just have to trust Him.

My classmates told me that there are free cheng eng teng scholarship exams on SPCBA so, I grab it. 

1623751_804975159515825_1546249365_n

I’ve got 50% discount. I passed. I know God won’t let me down.

Of course, I have to look for other school again. SPCBA is just my option.

The day I take PUPCET.

collage1

I take PUPCET at Sta.Rosa branch even though there is a San Pedro branch here. I prefer Sta. Rosa the reason is there is no Electronics Communication Engineering at San Pedro so I decided to go for Sta. Rosa. Then for a few weeks I settled my requirements for PUPCET. My mama paid 525pesos on land bank, and I take a 2×2 picture, before the day of my Entrance Exam. I was able to fix that all. When it’s all done. I was so very excited, I told myself that this time I need to pass this. I am very determined & I am really optimistic that time. I was full of positive thoughts on my mind I know that I can do this and I am highly favor by my Almighty God in Heaven but deep inside of course, I can’t prevent, I am a lil’bit frightened. I was just wondering If I didn’t pass this then, I know my parents will be disappointed to me. They spend money for me, for my entrance exams, then I just failed it all. First TUP then now PUP even though I pass SPCBA. It’s just an option in case I didn’t pass all the entrance exams I took. Aside from that It’s just my classmates who persuades me to take cheng eng teng scholarship exam. (wala namang mawawala) Let’s try SPCBA, It’s free and we can get a scholarship so I was just like ‘ Tara! Tara! Ok. Back to PUPCET hehe The day came. March 30 (2nd Shift) I was claiming that time to pass the exam. After 2 hours travellin’ I was at Mcdonald near Puregold Tagapo. I’m too early to go at PUP Sta. Rosa yet, I have to wait 3 hours. My mama told me that I have to eat breakfast first to prevent my brain hanging upside down (lol) so, I can answer my exam well. (I don’t want my TUP-experience to happen again, no breakfast then, this time I have to eat a lot) After 2 and a half hours, well, here I come PUP! There was a fresh air there but when I already come inside like woooooah ‘Sobrang init, anggulo ng linya, ang daming tao at damang-dama ko na ang feeling sa public’ Sorry po for being maarte hehehe, that’s my first time to encounter like that. Pero inside my heart, I want this one. I want this campus. Campus where I am going to be developed & campus where I am going to conquer for Jesus! It’s challenging & I’m really ready to get out of my boat, to stand out my comfort zone. & I’m ready to face those struggles that I will encounter everyday of my college life, for sure watatatatata. I was so exhausted even I’m not still in the room. ‘Am I having an audition for Pinoy Big Brother?’. I’m ready to take the exam. There are two proctors there the other one was really like a monster; Very strict. I was so scared to be embarassed that time so, behave sheimy. Don’t talk too much. & do the best you can aja! While taking the exam, the girl that sent from above is about to checked our requirements at some later time, again I failed. ‘Punit ang paper ko I thought I have to cut it because there’s a dotted lines there but that’s just an “I thought” huhuhu  Thank God, she just whisper to me that ‘next time’..  *sigh* And yes! she didn’t announced it in the whole class. I’m safe. Next time, double read the instructions, sheimy! “Ako lang yung nakahating papel” ='( I realized that I really don’t check the instruction clearly or maybe listened. My mama already told me not to cut it in half because there’s no instruction there to cut the e-permit but suddenly I didn’t followed and still I cut it in a half and followed the dotted lines. Always failed (⌣̩̩́_⌣̩̩̀)   then after taking the exam my name is special mention, like woooah this is so embarassing! Palmes, you have to complete the right requirements on or before April 02. My 2×2 picture size is just 1.5×1.5 picture size. So then, my mama spend money again. That time we went in rush to Sta.Rosa Bayan to re-scan it in 2×2 picture size and back to PUP again. We have to fall in line again & again. Super haba! We have waited for one and a half hours. After a long journey. I failed. Sad to say, I didn’t pass the PUPCET. April 29, I’m ready to check the result on PUP.edu website, (even though I am already enrolled in AMA Computer College Biñan) Yesterday, I silently prayed and hoped that I got to see my name as one of the passers. but yeah, I didn’t see my name. My heart was crushed. Okay. It made me sad, but I think I really deserved it since I didn’t study.  My papa always reminds me every now and then to study harder. He told me that How can I pass those exams If I don’t have an interest to study and learn more. He bought me a lot of books, but I didn’t open those expensive books ever since. I thought I can pass it even if I didn’t review. I was so confident with my stock knowledge. but unfortunately, that’s not enough!

One thing a realized : FAITH WITHOUT ACTION IS DEATH

il_fullxfull-304160959

Yes, I know this! that Faith without action is death. but sometimes, We forget what’s the real essence of this when we’re about to that situation. Do something and Let it happen! I have to accept because I know It’s really my fault, no other than. I didn’t study well. And I also have a doubt in myself to pass those entrance exams. I was so self-pity which is not good. But then again, I know that God has a better plan for me. I kind of got over it as the time passed by. The Lord has His ways. I know He knows what the best for me.

So, eventually, I was enrolled last week (April 22 ) to AMA Computer College taking BS Computer Science. I took the AMA-entrance exam and yeah, I passed. Still, I have a lil’bit bitterness with those entrance exams I failed. If I know that I will not pass it and still I  fall with this campus, I wish that I didn’t take those exams in other universities to not feel this disappointments. But then, when I read my bible, it uplift my soul and spirit. It reminds me that ” THERE’S ALWAYS BE A PURPOSE FOR EVERYTHING” 

10250219_832591253420882_122205680456963621_n

And another blessing, I got a political scholarship on Munsipyo from our Vice Mayor – Hon. Rafael P. Campos. 50% discount until I graduate to college but there’s also a maintaining grade. I thank God for this. He never failed to bless and to amaze me and I know he will never ever fail. This scholarship is such a big help for my family.

10259875_843179329028741_8278320022161951896_n

Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the LORD holds them by the hand. (Psalms 37:24, NLT)

Anyway, here is the pencil I used for my TUP-entrance exam and PUPCET. After posting this picture on VSCO, I told this to my mama and papa: “Pakiramdam ko po talaga hindi ako matalino =(” WARNING: Don’t ever tell it to yourself – (Wag gayahin!) Hehehe. We are all intelligent because we are the children of God. Tuloy ang buhay! hehehe. I am really too shy to share this entrance exams experiences.  I don’t want this to share on facebook or to other social networks. After all this failures? Why do I have to?  Just to share my failures to other people and to underestimate me? but definitely, no.. that’s not the point. Lately, I was about to share this to my other friends. I realized that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Because of this experience, I learned a lot. Getting stronger now and then, and being more determined to study. Mas lalong nangarap! Dream High. 

10168152_843178759028798_2510045964306823684_n

Now I know what’s really my purpose. I know what’s really am I for. After praying it for almost 1 and a half year, Always telling Him, ‘Not my will but, Father, Let your will be done’ Finally, God already put me there& I know I was born for this: [since grade 2, I am very interested to this stuff without tutoring me, (Glory to God) though, it’s basic but I have a lil’bit knowledge. & I can’t imagine that on my very young age, I am really passionate to do this thing and at the same time, still learning. I didn’t expect to be on this course, Honestly, I don’t like to take Computer-related courses because my kuya is already an IT. And at the same time, Engineering to Computer Science? huh? It’s like Hardware to Software? Well, I am going to embrace this, because I know this is God’s will for me.) I AM BORN TO BE..

Can-a-Web-Developer-Also-be-a-Web-Designer-1

Keep Dreaming! Keep Believing! Never Stop!